What The Hell is That? Part 1

There are a lot of strange things in this country - and they're out there on public display. Some of the things we've run across over the past 20 months ultimately have sane and plausible explanations; actually most of them do, but they still leave you scratching your head and thinking, "Seriously, is that what you really meant to do?"

Take for example this monstrosity we found being used as an entryway art piece to a warehouse and distribution complex in Paris, Texas. We both both walked around it once or twice and tried to guess as to its purpose. Then, we started asking employees around the area if they knew what it was - and they all had to scratch their heads, too. Eventually we found a guy who said, "Yeah, I think it's some sort cotton press." Ah, but of course! How could we have missed that?

How could we have been so stupid? Just look at the size of the thing compared to the cars and buildings in the background. I'll bet the whole thing has to weigh 100,000 pounds. But, it is indeed a cotton press - Google would never lie to us. My guess is that some of the old Southerners had some German engineering in their blood. You could probably melt this thing down and build a bridge across a small river with the all the metal they used.

I'm not too sure exactly why they needed this much engineering to bale cotton (and, I can't help but wonder how many of these things were actually built - maybe it's just one of those "Texas" things). There is actually a wooden beam missing from this device; it sat across the top post, much like the blade of a helicopter. Apparently some horses, maybe three or four, were somehow hooked up to the top part of the contraption and they circled around it, turning the center post, which lowered the top "jaw" of the press and formed tightly packed bales suitable for shipping. I guess it took a zillion pound machine to do this properly.

Anymore, cotton baling machines are made offshore - mostly in China - and are powered by hydraulics and pneumatics. They still weigh more than a fully loaded tractor/trailer rig, but they are not nearly as interesting looking. And, somehow I have to believe that in 150 years, no one will be using one of the new machines as a piece of outdoor art to decorate their distribution center complex.