Talkin' Truck - Part I

"Preciate it driver."

Notice the word appreciate doesn't have an "ap" on the front of it. And, now a days everybody is "driver" and not "good buddy." "Good Buddy" was appropriated by the gay community of CBers and has a completely different meaning. Sort of like the word "gay" itself. It used to be perfectly good word to use to describe someone. Now it's still a perfectly good word that can be used to describe someone, but the meaning is completely different.

So, now you get stuff like "preciate it driver, but I knowed that all along." So, you see, in the vernacular of the modern trucker, you can turn any word you want into the past tense just by putting an "ed" on the end...knowed, throwed, etc. And, if someone understands everything about the situation "he just knowed all  that all along."

Actually, the CB chatter isn't what it used to be because of the cell phone. Once in a while you get a legitimate conversation happening, but not very often. And, nobody uses "handles" any more. It's just plain "driver." Depending upon where you are in this country, the CB chatter that does occasionally happen can get pretty racist, sexist, and just plain perverted. I suppose that's entertaining to some people, but mostly it comes off as pretty sad, and most truckers just turn the radio off when that crap starts.


We keep the CB on pretty much as a safety device. It can be helpful in traffic jams, or if someone is stopped by the side of a road and not easy to see. Or, once in a while it comes in handy for getting final directions. But, for the most part, the radio is silent.

Truckers have developed a language all there own. A few Examples:

• Stick or Yardstick - the mile markers on the interstate, so they can tell each other where the bears are sitting or rolling
• Bears - cops, usually state highway patrol officers. They can either be two-wheels bears - motorcycle cops - or they can be full grown and drive some sort of patrol car  - or, they can just sit at the beginning of a construction zone or accident scene with their light flashing and become a "care bear"
  
• Gator - the remnants of a truck tire that has gone flat and also gone unnoticed by the driver. After a while, the flat will heat up and completely disintegrate, and leave large and small chunks - gators - all over the place
• Lot Lizard - truck stop hookers, usually they are strung out on something and and pretty sad - often look like two days of bad weather
  
• Skateboard - a flatbed truck
• Parking Lot - automobile hauler
• Bobtail - a tractor with no trailer
• Deadhead - having an empty trailer
  

So, this makes for some interesting comments on the CB: "Watch out for the big gator in the hammer lane at the 151 stick southbound" or "Rolling full grown eastbound at the split." 

And, as you can see from the photo at the beginning of this rambling, we see some interesting signs. Not all of them make sense, and some, like the one above, can have more than one meaning - but that's probably the topic for another conversation. This particular sign was in a truck loading area at an RC Cola bottling plant in Louisville, KY. We got stuck there for most of an afternoon earlier this year, and I didn't see anyone obey the sign all day.